Concrete Poetry Challenge

[Nick]

I'm looking for an example of concrete poetry for an e-book I'm currently working on, and it occurred to me that this would be a good opportunity to set a challenge for MWC members.

For those who don't know, concrete poetry is a term used to describe poems in which the shape of the poem and the way the words are arranged on the page contributes to the overall effect. If you're unsure what I mean, a quick search for "concrete poetry" on Google should turn up plenty of info (and examples) for you.

My e-book will be aimed at teachers, and I'm looking for something fairly simple and straightforward. Humour would be a bonus, but isn't essential. Basically, what I want is a good example of concrete poetry so that teachers can see what it is and perhaps use the poem as an example for their pupils.

The winning poem will be used in the e-book (which I'm actually co-writing with the poet Simon Pitt) and full credit will be given to the author, including a link to their website if they have one. And obviously, the winner will receive a free copy of the e-book as well.

You have till next Friday, 26 January, at 12 noon GMT to submit your entry. Please post it below, preferably as a simple reply, but as an attachment in Word or RTF if necessary. Note that I am looking for something that is not going to be too challenging for me to copy and reproduce in the e-book, however!

Many thanks, and have fun!

Nick

[crystalwizard]

I might suggest you use a classic poem. In Alice in Wonderland, chapter 3, Lewis Carroll presents a marvelous example. The poem is spoken by a mouse, and it's written in the shape of a long, curving tale.

http://www.sabian.org/alicech3.htm

Scroll most of the way down.

[Nick]

That's a good example, but I'd prefer to use an original poem from an MWC member (hence this challenge).

Nick   

[*Lorraine*]

Hi Nick

I hadn't come across concrete poetry before but I checked it out and here's my attempt:

A
lone
wind-blown
sun-bleached hut
enduring and brave
sprayed by each grey wave
tides                               flow
high                              low
high                              low
seas                              sigh
low                               high
low                               high
sand sifts through the marram grass
beach hut waits for winter storms to pass

All the best, Lorraine

[Nick]

Great effort, Lorraine!

Anyone else going to give it a try?

Nick

[N.Mott]

Good one, Lorraine.
I was hoping someone would post an example. Tried Googling it, but the examples thrown up were very odd.

[Katinka]

                                                                   I
                                                              thought
                                                            to express
                                                                 my
                                                               know
                                                    ledge of you, in form
                                              I shaped a lump of clay into
                                            a solid mass. A square, I stood
                                         you t  all, legs spread and st  raight
                                       your      head slightly cocke      d. Han
                                    ds fa          stened to your thi           ghs.Y
                                   ou l               ooked  secure,                 mmo   
                                 vabl                 e, impenetra                     ble.Y
                                   ou a              re! But I know                 you   
                                      more      . I spied your thinn          ess, y
                                         our     holy hollowness, you     fragi 
                                           le pride. I worked out my knowi
                                                    ng on your. I carved
                                                   as when w  e reasone
                                                 d. I carved      and carve
                                                d and mor         e of you a
                                                ppeared               So clear
                                                You sto                od befor
                                                me bar                  e, hollo
                                               w and t                    hin, I fel
                                              t reliev                      ed at hav
                                             ing see                        n what I
                                             perceiv                        e of you
                                                the                                cla
                                         rity that                              surfaced
                                                      healed   my soul

kat

[R. L. Copple]

The poem itself isn't that great, but thought I would try my hand at this.

Into the Void


                                                            movement
                                      speed of light, yet no
                       Racing past the 
                       can  I
                     detect.   My
                 ship   sails   the
               seven galaxies, and then
                 some. But I'm almost sure,
                   if I can trust my gut, that
                     the universe doesn't end and
      ships will fall off its edge, but is round. So,
   to   prove   our   hunch,   we   venture   into   the   
unknown,   believing  we  will  eventually  come   back  to   
  Earth.  And  when  we  do,  however  many  lifetimes it
    takes, we'll touch down and then do it all over
       again. So off we go into the wilderness of             
        space, to prove that we  really  aren't            insanity.
          crazy,     just     genius     disguised    as

[Nick]

And the winner is...

Lorraine with her "beach hut" poem 

It's simple and effective, just what I was hoping for to go in my e-book. I'll be in touch separately with Lorraine by PM.

Many thanks to the other entrants, including Rob Hyde, who emailed me two excellent literary examples. I thought all the poems entered in this challenge were very good indeed, and I dare say if the judging had been on poetic merit alone, another poem might have triumphed. However, I had a very particular slot in mind for this, and Lorraine's poem will fit it perfectly. Congratulations to her, and thanks once again to everyone else who entered.

Nick 

[CarrieSheppard]

Uncle Bill did a beautiful one about a bird... its on here somewhere!

Carrie

[Katinka]

Thank you, Nick.
Congratulations to you Lorraine!
kat

[YelnickMcWawa]

Uncle Bill did a beautiful one about a bird... its on here somewhere!

Carrie

though this challenge is done i thought to post the link to Uncle Bill's poem because it's a good one.
http://www.mywriterscircle.com/index.php?topic=2412.msg16472#msg16472

bryan

[John Yamrus]

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