I wouldn't consider what you wrote a review .  If you are going to make a comment such as you made you really need to back it up.  If you can't, if your only out is to pout then I'm losing nothing by losing you.


Not one single one of the words in this poem was a word capable of misunderstanding by a youngster.  And there were no more than 4 syllables in any of them.  The words were elementary.  Perhaps what you were meaning to say was that the message was indecipherable.  My language comes from my soul.  I do not understand why you want to trash me for that.  If you don't like the poem, fine.  If you have a comment that will help me make it better I appreciate it.  But give me "You know how to string a lot of big words together, but that's not necessarily a good thing."  that doesn't cut it as a review.

Hi again Pencil,

Glad your poem is generating some discussion. I'm just reponding to your comment/question from earlier

Imprisoned by his physicality
he let his mind imagine reality

These lines contradict each other because death, drugs, dreams/imagination (or Dan Brown's stupid detachment tanks) are the only escapes from physicality that I can think of, and you describe this guy imagining, so I don't see how he can be imprisoned. The core tension is not about escaping anyway, I feel this poem skirts the more significant issues of why he might feel imprisoned.

I think you need to work on this character's relationship with the world. 'Reality' after all an entirely subjective experience; when you use it here, do you just mean 'the outside world' or 'the world seen on TV'? It wouldn't be his own, I think, because he's living it. Anyway, good luck with it, hope you'll be able to find a perspective that works.
Bryn